Beck (works & days draft)

[jones]

well, here we go again. this one's just a tad bit racy (by W&D standards at least). i'm not 100% sure it's even going on the site, not because of the raciness but because i'm not sure i want the story to go in this direction yet. comments welcome.

Beck

Val's room, 3.17a

Awakening in the middle of a forgettable dream, it took Val a few seconds to realize where the light was coming from. Who turned the computer on? And where was Becky?

The answer to both questions came but a second later as lifting her head just a little, Val spied through eyes still clouded with sleep Becky sitting in the chair at her desk, head cocked a little, engrossed in the screen before her.

"Can't sleep?" she yawned.

If Becky heard, she gave no indication.

"Hey," Val coaxed with a drowsy smile, "I said--" She halted herself abruptly as her vision cleared and she realized exactly what Becky was staring at. She swallowed and felt her pulse quicken.

"What're you doing?" she raised her voice a little. "That's my diary. Turn it off."

Still, Becky made no reply -- did not even shift her position.

"I said turn it off!" Val attempted to grab the pillow with her right arm in order to fling it at the back of Becky's head, only to find her wrist securely cuffed to the edge of the bed. With a confused glance at Becky, she let out a frustrated breath and rattled the chain.

"You unlock these right now!" she hissed. "And shut off that computer before I kick you out of my house!"

With a condescending sigh, Becky simply put one finger to her lips. "Hush! You're gonna wake your friends up." Yet she did not turn around.

"Damn right I'm gonna wake 'em up!"

"No," Becky calmly replied and turned to look at Val. "You're gonna sit right there and be quiet 'til I'm done reading this."

Taking a breath, Val looked her squarely in the eye. "Shut it off."

Becky stared right back. "No."

"Beck..." Val started but found herself at a total loss. Fuming, she sat up a little straighter and, using her left arm to hold the blanket over her chest, tugged vainly at the handcuffs and bored her gaze into the girl in the chair.

"If you're good," Becky said as if speaking to a child, "I'll unlock you when I'm done, and you can go get me a sandwich."

"Beck!"

"And _maybe_ you can have some celery."

"Goddamit!" Val growled. "This is not a joke. Just because I like... certain things... doesn't mean you can order me around and go through my personal--"

Becky lifted one hand, which to Val's surprise silenced her immediately. She left the chair, sat down on the bed and brought her face to within inches of Val's.

She lifted her eyebrows and grinned slightly. "It sort of does, Val. Maybe I'm taking a risk here, but I think you're gonna do what I tell you."

Still seething, Val held Becky's eyes for a moment but glanced away. "What makes you think so?"

"It's kind of exciting, isn't it?" Becky smiled more broadly, brought one hand up to the edge of the blanket and gave it a tug downwards. Val's hands held fast. Hardening her eyes, Becky roughly pulled Val's hand away and slapped it back when she attempted to lift the blanket. Val did not move her hand again but remained perfectly motionless as Becky's palm placed itself proprietarily over her rapidly beating heart.

"It [I]is/i] exciting!" The half moon scar below her eye opened as Becky smiled once more. Leaning in, she breathed hotly on Val's cheek, then kissed her once, then again behind the ear whispering, "You're wondering What did she see? How many of my private personal thoughts does she know?"

Val swallowed and did not speak.

"I know you have a stuffed giraffe named Paco," Becky giggled. "And you wanted to take him with you when you came here to go to college, but you were afraid your dorm mates would laugh. I know... I know you drove your dad's car to Columbus that one time even though you weren't allowed to. I know about the time you ran into Ms. Linsky at the fair and she was wearing shorts and you couldn't stop staring at her ankles. I know about... collar bones, and I know about--"

"Stop! I want you out of--"

Before Val realized it, Becky's hand closed over her mouth. She took in a sharp breath through her nose and trembled a little.

"Shhhhhhh, I said," Becky locked eyes with Val for a moment, then wrapped her free arm around her waist and pulled her closer. She kissed her neck. "You're excited. Don't try to tell me you're not. I know you're pissed. I took without permission. That would make anybody mad. Maybe you're even a little scared. But in a way it feels good, doesn't it?"

Val's eyes widened slightly. An almost inaudible noise came from the back of her throat.

"Not yet." Becky's hand pressed tighter. "Just listen and I'll let you talk in a minute." Though she did not relax her hand, her tone became suddenly conciliatory. "Listen Val, I told you you were a good person, and I meant it. I don't want to hurt you or scare you. So when I allow you to talk again, you can tell me to go and I'll go. I just want you to think for a second: I know some of your secrets now, things you never told anybody else. Right now, you're in a pretty vulnerable position." She brought her mouth so close, her lips brushed lightly at Val's ear as she went on, "Handcuffed to your bed, naked as the day your were born -- with somebody you really don't know all that well sitting right next to you. Now, I think you know I'm not gonna do anything to... seriously damage you. But things are... uncertain, out of your hands. There's that little bit of fear. Your heart is just racing, Val. I'm sure your temples are throbbing. Maybe some other parts are too? Just take a second. Think about that, and then I'll take my hand away and you can tell me what happens next."

True to her word, Becky removed her hands from Val's lips, lingering but a moment to caress her soft cheek with the tips of her fingers. The two sat staring at one another for a long moment. Val blinked once or twice.

"Well?" Becky lifted her eyebrows. "Do I leave?"

Val said nothing, but drew in a breath through her nose and let it out again. Finally, she shook her head slowly.

Becky did not smile. "Are you sure?"

Val hesitated, then nodded.

"You're not sure..." said Becky quietly. "But for now that's okay. Just understand that any time you want me to go, I'm gone. But that's it." She shook her head decisively. "No second chances. No breaking up and getting back together again. You do what I tell you, and when I tell you to do something you just can't do, then say 'get lost' and I'll never bother you again. But that's the finish."

Val nodded and, taking in a slow breath, drew the blanket further down to leave her body uncovered from the knees up. Glancing up at Becky, she laid her hand back on the bed next to her thigh and lifted her eyebrows slightly.

"No," Becky shook her head. "Not now." She glanced over her shoulder. "I'm gonna read a little more. Stay like this and be good until I'm done. That means no talking. Understand?"

Face blank, Val nodded once. "Uh..." she said quietly, "I have to uhm... I think I have to go to the bathroom."

Becky appraised her for a moment and cocked her head skeptically. "Is it an emergency?"

"Well, it's--" Val started, but stopped for a moment before resuming in a steadier tone. "No. Not really."

"Then hold it," Becky shrugged. "Anything else?"

Val shook her head quickly.

"You're gonna be good?"

Val nodded. "I'll be good."

Without another word, Becky rose from the bed and turned toward the computer. Lying back, Val reached down to pull the blanket over her again but felt Becky's hand grip her wrist. Shaking her head, she used Val's hand to guide the blanket to its former position.


------------------
"teen-age fan club"
new chapters in Works & Days
a punk rock romance in words, music & art
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays

[PsiNormal]

Hey jones, I've been enjoying Works & Days for a couple of months now and just recently got caught up on the last few weeks worth of stuff. It's good stuff!

Anyway, thought I'd give you a few of my comments about "Beck"... take them for what their worth, probably less than 2 cents. I've read this a couple of times trying to see if it stands up to my mental picture of Val or not. Part of me says that it fits Val fairly well. But, part of me can imagine that she's still somewhat upset over Marie and may not like getting back into something similar so quickly.

Then again, maybe Val doesn't know what she wants and just lets the excitement of not being in control take her over.

Hehe... Obviously I'm still not sure what I think about it. We dont' know much about Becky yet, but from this scene she seems to come off (in my mind, at least) a lot like Marie does. Was it intentional, or is it my imagination? I don't think it was all that racy, there was more implied going on than was really shown.

Anyway, that's just a few comments for you to use however you want. Keep up the good work!

[Dano]

What I see here is a natural progression for Val, unfortunately. This is an exploration for her, another stop on the way.

I'll bet that before, when she was dating guys, she was always pretty much in charge. Things began to change with Marie, where it was a lot more give-and-take. The explorations with dominance and submission were made by two women willing to play both roles.

Becky is not willing to sub. Val is not ready for this, at least not in my mind. This is going to end badly, or worse, not end at all. Just a long, drawn-out suffering.

There are things in life that are new and exciting, and you try them, and for a little while you enjoy them, but they take a lot more of qualities Val doesn't have to sustain them for a long haul. She is (or was) the person I consider the most stable in this entire cast of characters, and this role does not suit her.

*shrugs* That's just me though.

[jones]

psi,

your input is appreciated and certainly worth more than 2 cents. to answer your question, i didn't intend any similarities between becky and marie. i agree with dano's reasoning in how they're different. then again, my view of certain characters is different from that of many readers, just as readers have different views among themselves. maybe this chapter could use a little retooling (which is why i posted it -- thanks again).

i think becky and marie are both rather controlling. but i see more subtlety in marie, and i think she's confused herself on how much she wants to control val.

dano,

as i said, i pretty much agree w/your reasoning, but i don't want to give away how this sub-plot will develop so i won't say any more.

one question though: when you say "this role does not suit her," do you mean val as a person or as a character? that is, are you commenting on the storyline or val's life?

does that make sense?

take care

---jones

------------------
"teen-age fan club"
new chapters in Works & Days
a punk rock romance in words, music & art
http://www.freehomepages.com/worksanddays